Advice on a relationship question---female friendsssss?

First I want to say thanks for reading my post because it is long....sorries but please help








My boyfriend and I have been having a disagreement over a female friend of his. I would like for him to end the relationship and handle her from a distance like maybe a few texts here and there at the most but he says I am being controlling.





Background on the matter:


My boyfriend and I were high school sweethearts ,broke up in high school and rekindled the relationship 5 years later. So far everything has been pretty ok. He has only known the girl for about 5 months. She is his best friend`s girlfriend so thats how they met. I havent really had a problem with the relationship between them until recently as in the past month. She did a few questionable things that made me uncomfortable with her as a person so that is why I would like the relationship between them cut to a minimum.





What did she do?


1.) She came to visit us but had a mutual guy friend of my boyfriend and her boyfriend with her. She told me not to tell her boyfriend that the guy friend had came with her. She wanted me to say that he was dropped off.





2.)She texts my boyfriend randomly just to see what he is doing. Once he said he was mowing the grass and she told him she would stop by. I was in the house watching him finish up and all of a sudden I saw her pop up on the porch ( mind you she has my number and she did not tell me she was coming, only him).





3.) She talks about the mutual guy friend alot and how he is a good person, she also tells me when she is around me to be glad that I have my boyfriend because he is a good boyfriend and she sees that when he is hanging out with her boyfriend.





4.) She lets the mutual guy friend crash at her place, even when her boyfriend is not there. The mutual friend does not have a car and she drives him around alot and just seems generally interested in him and my boyfriend. She says it`s because they are good people.





5.) Her boyfriend recently violated his probation and is in jail, she is now living in his home. One night she drove over to my boyfriends home, with the mutual guy friend at 12am to visit. Supposedly she is pregnant but she had drinks with the guys. Once again she did not text or call me to let me know she was coming over. Around two am when they were getting ready to leave she asked my boyfriend and the mutual friend if they thought her boyfriend would be upset if the mutual friend spent the night with her because she didnt feel like driving him back home..... and he did spend the night.





6.) Her boyfriend is in jail and she is letting the mutual friend spend alot of time with her at all hours and times. My boyfriend says nothing is going on between them and I am looking at it too hard and they are just friends.





7.) When I called her and told her I was uncomfortable with her relationship with my boyfriend she got mad at me....then my boyfriend got upset with me as well... the conversation took a turn for the worse and she called me a ***** and said I was controlling and that I shouldnt have a problem with her being friends with my boyfriend.( at no point did I call her a name or curse at her)





My boyfriend now feels like I am trying to controll him. He says he feels like she is a good person and he wants to be friends with her because she is his best friends girlfriend. I told him that I am ok with the two of them talking about the best friend since he is in jail but I am not comfortable with them just chatting because of her questionable behavior. I feel like the girl is disrespecting me especially after she called me a *****. I almost feel like he is choosing her over me. He helped her move some furniture today and didnt even tell me. I had to find it out through her telling me how nice my boyfriend is in a text message at almost 1am.My boyfriend says I am being too defensive and that he is not going to just roll over and let me knock her out of his life. He feels like he needs to be there for her since his best friend is in jail.





I have no idea how to get through to my boyfriend that she really bothers me. I feel this feeling in the bottom of my stomache about her..like she just cant be trusted and like she is a shady person. I really want him to stop communicating with her but he says he is not going to do that.





Am I wrong? Should I let it go or let him go or whattttt????Advice on a relationship question---female friendsssss?
Ask him how would he feel when you start inviting a male friend to spend that much time with you. Tell him that you would not disrespect him like that. Then tell him that he is disrespecting you, and that if he does not cut her out of his life, then he will have to cut you out. Do not tolerate this kind of disrespect. If he will do this to you now, what would he pull when he is married to you? Men do not change for the better after marriage. It does not get any better than it is right now, so put your foot down and find out how much respect he has for you right now.Advice on a relationship question---female friendsssss?
wow.


when i saw you apologizing for such a long post, i was like, ';oh it's not that long.';. then i scrolled down...and was like, ';oh...';.


anyway, this isn't really good advice, but it's what what i think you should do.


girl, you just listed everyone 7 long reasons about why she bothers you and etc. sounds like you already know that you can't just ';let it go'; and have to do something about it. that girl's a *****, ignore her. as for your boyfriend, wait for him to be in a good mood then talk to him about it. if he honestly loves you, he will understand how she makes you uncomfortable and will tell her to back off. you're not being ';controlling.'; he's YOUR boyfriend for a reason, and that means other girls can't get too close to him.


if he doesn't understand, he's a huge jerk not worth keeping. i personally don't think you should let it go, because you're right, it is disrespectful to you. if he likes her, let him have her. find a hotter guy and flaunt him in his face.


if you let this go, he will soon have more of these friends and maybe even cheat on you.
I know that this must be really hard for you, but you're not at all at fault.





This girl seems to be a complete *****, and kind of a slut too. All the things you've mentioned about her are VERY objectionable. Well, you can't tell her what to do, but your boyfriend should have understood what you said. But he's being awful about it and reacting to it totally opposite of how a good boyfriend would. In fact, I hate to say this, but I wouldn't be surprised if it turns out that she has a thing for your boyfriend and he is enjoying the attention and probably even fooling around with her a bit behind your back.





I suggest that you tell your boyfriend firmly that it's his decision because it's his life, but you really can't deal with all this and that if he's interested in continuing his relationship with you, he needs to give some importance to what you feel as well. He can't simply do as he pleases with zero consideration for your emotions and feelings.





If even after this things don't change, well - it's your way or the highway. Then you need to get away from him, fast. Staying in a relationship where your partner doesn't care for and respect you is the most self-destructive thing to do.