Feel like a loser....advice pleaSe!!!?

well i am kinda slutty but not too much of a slut....and in the ending of my last relationship with my boyfriend of six years when things started to get dull between us one night i was drunk and slept with one of my boyfriends peers which really hurt him and i am sorry i hurt him but things happen and when i feel a certain way i dont think logically and live on impulse...well anyway about a couple months or so later that guy i had slept with met a girl who is friends with one of my cousins(a girl)...and this past weekend she asked me if i slept with her boyfriend that she heard that and that her boyfriend which is the guy i slept with had told her also so i admitted it to her and it was before i ever knew her and she is a cool girl but it happened like more than 2 and a half years ago and now we ended up seeing eachother and she asked me but i told her that it was before i knew her and it was one time when i was drunk and thats it and sat i dont want her man and that i hope that doesnt affect our friendship and she was all like no no but i could tell it hurt her a lil..but i would feel how she feels too but im not gonna go and lie or hide shyt wen i was tellin her the truth and that to me is small change and it happened so long ago but it just bugs me a lil because it made me feel like i am a slut and thats y i am no longer with my ex and why i cannot find a good boyfriend or a potential one at that then guys always just wanting to sleep with me and thats it. i lost my virginity when i was thirteen and i am 21 now and i have slept with a total of 14 guys..is dat a high number? am i a slut because of this? no body wants to walk around with a girl who had been around and i dont think i have been around like that because the guys i slept with they dont all know eachother or ppl have never talked about me as a slut or anything but word obviously got around of me and that girls boyfriend before she ever even met him and she thinks that it happened while they were going out and it wasn't or if it wasn't i didn't know but i don't think they were because i never knew of her when it happened....





so now i feel like im not gonna sleep with anyone and hold myself and just masturbate or get a dildo or something because i dont want to be used and i wanna save myself for the one guy who will be my other half.





i have no life right now no job all drug addicted friends and i hardly know or be with too many people i feel so alone and like no one likes me or look sat me like someone who had a hard life and is cool but a lil slutty and they cant trust around their man or something.





i need some advice or input f what u think i have jus said..





thank youFeel like a loser....advice pleaSe!!!?
You aren't a loser-- you simply have made some life choices which you regret now (and we all have done that at one point or another). I would suggest:





1) Get the rest of your life in order. Find a job you like reasonably well, which fulfills you and pays the bills.





2) Find better friends, who aren't into drugs. The ones who are will only bring you down, and cause you needless drama, not to mention problems at work.





3) Only then, worry about starting a new relationship. Obviously, you can't do much about having slept with a cousin's friend's boyfriend... but you can get the rest of your life on track for better things, and for a better man to appear. However, you have to be ready for when he shows up... so prepare yourself now.





Don't be so hard on yourself... just do the best you can, and give 110% to the things that really matter to you. The rest of it should sort itself out with time and practice.Feel like a loser....advice pleaSe!!!?
Your life is screwed. Move to another city where nobody knows you.
You need a friend.


ASAP.
90% of your problem is solved just by admitting your mistakes and seekig help. I suggest you restructure your life and seek advise from loved ones that are ';wise'; and that can help. I admire you for your courage to turn your Life around!!!!
After reading your story, I simply suggest that do some other extra curricular activities like studying(Do higher studies. if not, read books. this will divert your mid and mood. watch good movies, or do some thing more. do gardening. or play with children or pets. This makes your mind free. don't concentrate on others. make your self busy. or go to other sight-seeing /tourist places. anything, be happy. and make your mood happy. spend most of your time with parents. thats it..





okk bye.
People still see you as someone who gives into their impulses and seeks gratification through sex, and it's going to take a while to shake that image.





Learn to control those impulses - to date they have been controlling you. Not mature. Controlling our impulses is what separates us from the animal world.





If you're still in school, look around to see what clubs you can join. If people talk about you, face them down and say you're moving on from that way of behaving, because you know how destructive it can be.
You should realize something. Your past is your past and you can do nothing to change that, your future on the other hand is for you to forge. Change your outlook and you can change your life. You just have to want it.





14 guys is not a lot considering you have been having sx since you are 13.





Also if you want a stable relationship, you have to think more before you act. Good luck.
WOOWWW!!!! That's was some long typing!!! But anyways:





I can definately understand what your going through especially since you lost your virginity at 13 that is F***ing harsh!! How did that happen? But that being the case it is somewhat understandable and i'm not gonna judge you as a loser cause your not...You should try and learn from this mistake of getting drunk, let that be a lesson cause it will only get worst. It's no excuse at all but hey shyt happens I know and understand. We all go through stuff like that and what really was impressive about you is that your willing to save yourself for your other half. Sleeping with 14 guys at is a lil slutty but as I said babes i'm not here to judge you. You sound like someone I would wanna get to know, you need supporting friends. I also understand why your friend would feel a way cause it is her guy but it's no biggie you didn't know her at the time so watever. You should settle down now though, you can definately find a guy that loves you for you and like how you got experience prob you can teach him a thing or 2 lol!





I hope this helps you in understanding that you are not a loser! It's never too late to make a change in your life (unless your dead), everyday is a new chance!!! :)
yeahh sorry but a bit sluttty. at leastt you can admitt up to your mistakes. i mean sleeping withh 14 guys and ur only 21. not acceptable. you may say well i was drunk but it was your fault you got drunk and your fault this happened. next time seriously consider who you may hurt or affect when doingg something.
Being drunk is not an excuse... You are still responsible for your actions. Hopefully you have changed, because cheating with reasons like ';I was drunk'; and ';I live on impulses'; aren't acceptable. Thirteen was a very young age to lose your virginity, and fourteen guys at age 21 is nothing to poke a stick at.





Hopefully you've calmed down and are taking life a little slower. If you've changed, that's good. Be happy that you don't have any children or STD's. If you're a good girl now, then you'll meet a good guy soon enough that won't care about your past...





Good luck and be safe.

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