Saturday, August 21, 2010

Girlfriend of 2.5 years, need outside opinions please?

Alright, to start things off im 18 and shes 17. Im in college shes in highschool. 9 months ago we broke up with each other because we were eachother's first girl/boyfriends and we thought it would be best to meet other people before we dig a whole too deep with eachother without knowing what else is out there. 2 months ago I won her back from her not-so-serious boyfriend as she says. She also claims that she's always loved me truely even when she was with the other guy, and always knew she didnt love him.





Now, It seems like she's embarrassed or ashamed to be with me in front of people she knows. She refuses to tell any of her friends (besides her close ones) that shes in a relationship at all. Also, very frequently I surprise her with random things like notes or flowers on her car - and whenever were together I plan a huge romantic day/night for her to make sure she always has the best time when shes with me. The problem is, she NEVER does anything for me, not that I should expect her too but it's always nice to feel loved i guess. Also, she refuses to be anything but single on her facebook (not that I care so much about facebook, but the fact she is trying to portay herself as single to everyone.) Finally, everytime she says she is going to do something romantic for me to let me know she cares, she always forgets/loses track of time/etc and says how sorry she is and postpones it. (10+ times, literally)





What are your thoughts on our situation?





My apologies for a long explanation on us, but it will help get me more clear of an answer hopefully.Girlfriend of 2.5 years, need outside opinions please?
I can't give you a for sure answer. Maybe she is not being faithful and wants to portray herself as single so other guys don't think she's taken. I could be totally wrong.





I think you should confront her with your concerns. Its really the only way to get an answer.Girlfriend of 2.5 years, need outside opinions please?
agree w/ firts answer








plz answer mine....http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;鈥?/a>
I THINK YOU SHOULD JUST GO TO TACO BELL AND CHILL
You have got a valid point. She is not treating your fairly.


At one point, she declares that ';she's always loved me truely even when she was with the other guy'; THEN, once she does have you, she gives not-so-subtle hints that ALL her love is 'truly' directed at you.





Although I can accept that ppl cyber and therefore might want to say they are SINGLE, I would be EXTREMELY upset if MYgirlfriend introduced me as 'just a friend' when meeting her friends. Did you ever ask her WHYshe feels entitled to downgrade you like that?





The bottom line is that I believe that she left the other guy to return to you BUT, in her mind, she sees her relationship with you as just a temporary thing with the intention of moving on later.





Hope that YOU can read the writing on the wall too :-(
%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;I surprise her with random things like notes or flowers on her car - and whenever were together I plan a huge romantic day/night for her to make sure she always has the best time when shes with me. The problem is, she NEVER does anything for me%26lt;%26lt;%26lt;





That's because our society, even in this day and age of ';gender equality,'; still expects all the ';work'; involved with romance and dating to be done by the GUY.





If I were you, I would put my cards on the table. Tell her that the two of you are either in a relationship, or you aren't -- and if you are, that it's high time for her to start doing her part. And if you're not, that she should at least have the decency to tell you, so that you can break it off and get a clean start.





It sounds like she's an entitled little princess -- reaping the benefits of having you as a boyfriend while avoiding any effort on her part to contribute equally to it.





So, call her out. Either she ends her entitled-princess ways, or she gets let go.





It sounds like you're trying to do things to ';impress'; her or ';woo'; her into remaining your girlfriend. You shouldn't have to do that. You shouldn't have to ';perform'; for Her Royal Highness. You're a person too, and you should be getting just as much joy and benefit out of this relationship as she is.





If you're not, then start insisting on it. If she's unwilling or unable to play along with that, then dump her.


.
From what I'm reading, it seems like your girl feels burdened by all of the nice things you do for her. In a relationship, the giving and gaining should be equal from both side, in an unintentional way, but in your case, you seem to be doing most of the giving, and she, the gaining.


To be honest, you SHOULD care if her facebook status is stuck on single coz it means that she wants to have other options and be seen as ';free';.





This isn't that much of a hard case,


1) You could have time off from eachother, to clear your minds and see if you actually need eachother.


2) You could break it off. It's obvious that she feels like your relationship has become too deep and sooner or later, she's gonna break up with you.


3) Don't do anything nice for her for a while, see how she reacts. If she does anything about it e.g does something for you at last, it means that she still wants you, but if she's unresponsive and doesn't really seem to notice, she's definitely not interested.





I'm sorry if all of this sounds a bit harsh, but it seems that you've grown apart, and the answer is in your writing...quote ';she NEVER does anything for me etc...';





But hey! you're still young! You're better off going out with someone who appreciates your kindness and devotion..





Better luck


Wendy ^_______^
Tell her you're sick of her being so 'flighty' and would like her to be honest with you. Sometimes people just don't want to be alone - and in no way am I cutting you down - but this might be the case with her. If she was truly in love you, she shouldn't be embarrassed or ashamed to be with you - love is the kind of thing you're not afraid to hide.


Talk to her about it, get her to open up. You may not get the answer you're looking for, but at least you'll know if you're wasting your time or not.

No comments:

Post a Comment